There are a myriad of reasons why I'm not currently monetizing my blog or attempting to get free toys. off the top of my head:
1. I don't feel comfortable requesting favors when I don't have a well-trafficked, fine-tuned website full of original content to present. *I* don't feel good about approaching companies without that. I get where they're coming from and want to make sure that before I'm trying to initiate anything that I am confident I have something of value to offer in a business arrangement.
2. Personal pressure. You wouldn't believe the amount of added pressure I'd put on myself if I was trying to make money off of this. It's related to the above reason, of trying to ensure I'm worthy, but ties a bunch of other personal stuff in as well. I need to learn to be less perfectionist. Increased pressure would mean the quality of my writing takes a plunge.
3. Added complexity. Goodness, I only got my first sex toy less than 6 months ago! I've only just barely learned how to set up a WordPress site and am still in process of trying to make it look nice. I'm taking self-taught crash courses in all the well known social media sites, learning not only the mechanics of how to use them but also paying attention to the culture within them, so I'm not just throwing my blog into their social ring but actually engaging the way it's meant to be engaged with. That part is important to me. I'm networking with other sex bloggers, participating on forums, and so busy just getting a general feel with things all while in real life my sexuality is blossoming literally for the first. Time. Ever. Do I really need to add the added complexity of negotiating earning money or free toys along with all that? No. Didn't think so.
4. I don't know retailers well enough to vouch for them. I admire Epiphora in the way she tends to get to know retailers pretty well as she works with them. It's fantastic. And while I go by her recommendation to some extent, if I'm going to recommend places to others I need my own hands-on experience to go by. I don't have enough of that, yet, and it's not the kind of thing you can learn from an evening of research or a few email exchanges. Rather, it's built over time. I don't tend to be patient by nature, but this is one thing I'm not eager to rush, only because the end result will be so much sweeter if it happens naturally.
5. I'm not comfortable with the standard "in exchange for a review" paradigm. I haven't figured it all out yet, but what it really boils down to is that I don't like being under obligation to talk about something. Anything. I don't want my blog to be product-centered; rather I want the focus to be on my life experiences as I journey into sensuality. Along the way I might mention products, I'll probably rave about the stuff I love and make a snide comment or two about the items I hate. Or I might be silent about an item, simply because I have better things to talk about.
Y'know what?? That's freedom to me. If a manufacturer wants me to talk about their toys, then they should take care to make toys worth talking about. If I deem it not worth my time or energy to thoroughly test out and carefully write about, then I want the freedom to drop it and be done with it.
On the flipside, this means that if I really love a toy I just might keep talking about it. By not confining myself to writing formal reviews I give myself the freedom to simply express. And it really doesn't fit in with the current established paradigm between sex bloggers and retailers or manufacturers. I need time to figure out exactly what I am or am not comfortable with and how an alternative system could mutually benefit both parties. In the meantime, I don't expect companies to have a clue what the fuck I'm taking about, because it's not like I do either.
6. Preferential treatment of affiliates might taint my reports of their customer service. I've been on the receiving end of surprisingly poor customer service by a well-known and highly regarded company. Would I have been treated more appropriately if I was an affluent blogger affiliated with them? I think there's a good chance of that. If companies are going to show their true colors around a "nobody" like me, it's beneficial to stay that way as long as possible.
7. Turning professional takes me a step away from the real customer experience. As a newbie to sex toys, there's stuff I really would like to see on other people's blogs because it'd be so helpful to me...and it's just not there. Things like information on what toys they don't use often or have stopped using altogether, and why. Things about how their toy collection grew, and why each new piece was selected. What their most often used sex toys are and why. And all this in an easily absorbed format. That's why I'm beginning to love Pinterest, and and just starting to explore plugins that would better integrate it with my site. To easily see at a glance all the stuff in frequent use and notes on why is super valuable info. Same for stuff no longer in use. Reviews can be simplified to pros and cons very easily here, and it's a cinch for the reader to navigate.
8. Foundations. This draws on #3. Namely, before more complexity is added to the mix, I need to build a solid foundation. That means a solid social presence, a solid familiarity with the websites I'm using, writing habits that maintain my blog without infringing on my life, and stability in my sexuality. It's basic platform to go from, and it takes time to build. I won't be settled with moving forward to "advanced blogger stuff" until all that is in order first. Too much danger of burn-out.
9. Developing my own voice. During this phase in my life I feel like I'm a sapling, easily affected my the pressures of winds that would cause it to grow up all crooked. trying to grow my own voice amidst the pressures of doing this or that for money or traffic will result in something twisty and bent and so not me. Once I've had some time to myself in a nice quiet free environment of not a care in the world as far as blogging is concerned, then I'll be able to hold my own more easily. But in the meantime: my voice is precious, unique, and not receiving a whole lot of affirmation. So just like a sapling, I'm going to give it extra water and protection and wait for it to grow up a bit before taking the stakes out, so to speak.
10. I HAVE A LIFE. Sometimes it doesn't feel that way, but I do. And very few things feel worse to me than to realize I've wasted precious family time or helping a friend in need just because there was blog stuff to do. Maybe if I was making a living off of this, maybe if I had an overwhelming need for blog therapy that day. But just to keep up with things, at this stage? No. As much as I enjoy this, real life comes first. Overcommitment has never worked out well for me in the long run.
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